Thursday, August 17, 2017

beswara bhaskar

oh swara, i know you were trying to hit the high notes with this outfit, but it feels so off-key in so many ways.

that ruffle now. what were you thinking? that you had just walked out of a downton abbey set?
and that lampshade--i'm not sure if ikea would carry that even if you sold it back to them on olx or some such site.

knowing you though, you probably gave yourself nil battey sannata for this number. hopefully.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

slinky secrets


which came first, the slinky or the slinky dress?
i think the more important question is: how did karishma fit that slinky over her dress?
that's one incredible feat of flexibility.
i said flexibility, not fashion.
or maybe she slipped on multiple hula hoops...no, i think i'll stay with the slinky.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

phoolan meets bappi da


this is 2017.
this was at the vogue beauty awards.
it must mean that anita shroff adajania knows something the rest of us bourgeois don't.
that phoolan (before her member of parliament-turned-buddhist avatar) and her sense of cutting edge style from the chambal ravines is very much still in vogue.
bappi da's immmortal penchant for the colors of el dorado are of course never going to go out of style.
i guess adajania is on to something here.

Monday, August 14, 2017

fashion by the flintstones. sheepish smile by shamita shetty.

it looks like something the whitewalkers might have dragged in.
or just something that scar from lion king left lying around after he was done with the shenzi, banzai and ed, the hyenas. we're just glad we don't have to smell it.

because it seems like shamita forgot the "great" in the old axiom "great fashion is timeless."

Sunday, August 13, 2017

a fabric-ated tevar


varun: bhai, tu chal, picture ki screening hai aur photo op milega wahan.
arjun: dude, i don't have clothes.
v: bhai, chal idhar suiting ke kapdon ki dukaan hai, kuch toh mil jayega.

5 minutes later. arjun wearing a thaan of fabric like a really bad upper body sarong.

arjun kapoor for raymond.
the incomplete man.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

check, please.


ayushmann to tahira: bae, let's play matching matching today.
tahira: done.
a: ok, let's take stock.

tablecloth saree: check.
checks that ran away from the saree and married the t-shirt: check.
chocolate donut earring: check.
glasses shaped like donut moulds: check.
sneakers: matching matching!

(i have to admit--despite all the tackiness--which, i love, beeteedubs--a & t are clearly having fun and don't seem like they give a damn who thinks what of their couture). 

Friday, August 11, 2017

aashiqeeeeeeeee 2


a leading ornithologist has confirmed our suspicions.

according to noted bird expert salman ali, birds show their displeasure on most occasions by p**ping on something or someone (not necessarily a statue--although, come to think of it, that might explain the constipated look on most bollywood stars' wax statues in madame tussaud's).

but on some rare occasions--such as a shraddha kapoor fashion faux pas--they have been known to walk first in red clay and then all over that...thing that caused the faux pas in the first place.

the jury is still out on whether salman ali is referring to shraddha kapoor or her dress as being the "thing" that the birds walked all over.