the new face of armani: droop dawg uufo

'sup y'all. here y'go.

it's all about melancholy,
that's life's folly.
(chorus: unh, hunh.)
a smile's so over-rated,
so don't get so elated.
(chorus: unh, hunh.)
's not about the cut of the fashion,
this suit's all about function.
(chorus: unh, hunh.)
my style is right on the money,
no less a body says so than armani.
(chorus: unh, hunh.)

p.s. i don't know the capless dude on my left. he's just a nobody.

feroze's fashion fundas

today's lesson is on shades:
when you spend a life dazzling and being dazzled, what you don't want to do is cover those sources of brightness. the flip side of allowing all that sunshine near your eyes is that you can encounter unmanageable shrubbery immediately north of your eyes. that's where you can break pieces off the solar panels from your friendly neighborhood observatory and stick'em where you don't want any celestial or earthly bodies to see you.
stay well.

the chunky horror show: part deux

letter to twinkle twinkle:
a few months back, i treated you to a new me, and you called it Experiments with Scuba Gear as Fashion-ccesories. i decided to forgive you by showing that i have a whole pirate's chest full of similar gear. here, let me push my auburn tresses back so you can ogle at it better. don't you just love how even if i became really chubby (not that i want to), i'd still be able to wear these and not have to worry about bags under the eyes after long nights of partying? not that i have to worry about those ever. i know my eyes pop a little weirdly out of these shades, but i'm talking to my opto...umm, you know those eye doctors, about it. so i'll have that fixed soon. but i do hope you love these deep-sea shades. anytime you want to jump into my deep-as-the-ocean beautiful eyes and lose yourself in them, just let me know, and i'll call in the fork-lift to have them taken off.
luv,
diya.

return of the pink panther: the bengali version

i'll give bipasha one thing: neither peter sellers nor steve martin could carry off a pink tutu. but what's up with the rest of her? from whither did the misshapen shades fit into the facial facade? what daft hair-dresser advised her that bunny ears were the next hot hirsute statement? and the layers of talcum powder! bips, you know that your appeal lies totally in your dark, smoldering looks. the dark complements the smoldering in a way that the talcum powder is now completely pouring cold water on. please, please, spare us such experiments in the future.

new anil kapoor release: my clothes' murder

i'll grant him that he's inside the studio, perhaps taking a break between takes. i'll even grant that those ugly black shoes are his at-work heels, not a deliberate fashion misstatement. (you can see the make-up boy about to hand him his pink keds...anil is always in touch with his feminine side, folks.) but since when did it become haute to wear jeans like riding breeches? and anil, it's great to see that you've given up on life on the gorilla-side, but do you really need to show proof of it with that low-cut blous...i mean shirt? do you realize it's actually cut so low that we can see the Return of the Dense Undergrowth? and what's up with the belt bling? and no, that smile is not beatific enough to take attention away from the rest of your tacky ensemble. not by a long shot.

a brief thank you...

to, among others, beth who loves bollywood and daddy's girl, for the linkage, commentage, and other miscellany-age that shows this blog's readership is not restricted to one person in new delhi, one in schaumburg, illinois, and one in detroit, michigan (you know who you are).

exclusive wax statue not in madame tussaud's

rakhi sawant had better not anger any types of fanatics, especially sourav ganguly supporters in kolkata at this point. with their penchant for burning effigies, they just might pick her up, mistaking her to be made of wax and burn her right away. that is if madame tussaud's scouts don't spot her first and install her in the london or new york museum right away. then again, i think the chipmunks-turned-dolphins tattoo might not make it pass their discerning eye. or the blue tooth--no, no, not the one inside her mouth--the one on her ear.
looks like we'll be stuck trying to figure out if we can make candles out of her or not.

uufo: shrug, shorts by shakespeare, circa 1602

the bard might anon approve, all ye who read this,
of the spackled culottes, or he might fall to pieces
at the diswondrous spectacle of the puffed chemise
unspectacularly covered, but hark, with so poor a disguise,
and partial wrapping as the shrug.
is this , pray tell me, some fashion of thug?
is this to be sprung upon us unsuspecting gentry,
so rudely, so unkemptly, so not gently?

phashion by bebo

excerpt from the diary of bebo, circa september 2006.
"what? i dare you to look me in the eye and say that you don't like the gauze negligee thrown over my silk nightie. or my completely unnature brunnete looks. or the baby fat arm candy that shahid is. because i bet there is nothing you can pick holes in, as far as my completely phashionable looks are concerned. i'll have you know this was the last, and certainly the best, act in the whole of phashion week, when i paraded manish malhotra's latest sleepwea...i mean, couture. so there!"

UUFO: shiny object sighted all at sea

what on earth? oh wait, this is a uufo and, by definition, not from this fashion-able earth. such shiny objects in the atmosphere, as you may know, are usually stars or other celestial objects, and the good thing about these kinds of objects is that sooner or later, they spontaneously combust, leaving nothing but a little gas behind. hopefully, that will be the fate of at least the crotch-patch jeans and icky-sticky silver shirt on this uufo here.

kabhi kabhi alvida kehna

i knew rani was a multi-talented, multi-disciplinary person. but i didn't think she'd show it off quite so literally in her outfits. a fisherman's net, a medieval knight's armor and a plastic surgeon's smile, dear rani, don't really suit your sunny personality. then again, maybe you can catch the compliments (if any) in your net, ward off barbs with your armor and please the people with plastic all the time too.

bald is not beautiful

what's happening here?
a: sunny deol is wearing a big wig.
b: sunny has a big bad shiny patch front and center he's trying to hide.
c: i'm glad i'm not asking the above question in person, in front of him. do you see the clenched fist and the pocket-game going on with the other hand? he seems ready to sock the next person who points out the obvious. oye praaji! you work in the greasepaint and false hair biz. surely there must be a better role model for your hair than dev anand himself from guide?

a sleeping dog awakes

after much goading, pushing and prodding from my loyal fans (total number: 1), ishtardust is finally awake. apologies for the long hiatus and a promise to keep it going, on a regular basis from here on.

mission kim-possible

i could say kim sharma resembles the genus equus more than homo sapiens. but that would be oversimplifying things. i mean, whoever heard of a horse going to a spray-on tanning studio? and an indian horse at that? but let me not be so insulting any more...to the horse, i mean.
as for perizaad, i think she ought to go back and look at bollywood calling and stop trying to take herself or her couture so seriously.
dahlings, i'm tempted to say something about a 10-lb bag of onions from the local grocery store, but in the interest of not getting too personal, i will refrain from doing so.

comedic couture from the cretaceous era

okay, okay, i admit that bit about dino (as in dinosaur) morea and the cretaceous era is a little obscure, but in the interest of alliteration, i couldn't resist it.
but what in the name of t. rex is dino wearing? and is this what "fashion week" is represented by? i'm going to see a circus next week, and i'm sure all the clowns there have picked up a fashion hint or two from this ensemble, but other than the bozo pictured here, i can't imagine any sane person walking the streets, much less the ramp, in something like this. unless of course they want to laugh their pants off.

one more flew over the cuckoo's nest

hair horror alert: high risk.
ornithologists of the world rejoice. the definitive guide to birds of the world (abridged version) has just been published, and what's more you can wear it anywhere. and look hawt, hawt, hawt. at least that's what bobby deol would have you believe in this latest fashion disaster he's strutting around in. to say he's gone cuckoo would, i think, be unkind to the cuckoo, don'tcha think?

dracula redux

i can kind of, sort of understand the dazed look on amrita arora's face. i mean, have you ever seen the bloodsucking count of transylvania emerge from his coffin and immediately sport dazzling smiles for the camera? it takes time to adjust your blinkers to the light, y'know.
so yes, i can understand the dazed face. but what about the caked face? is the art of make-up lost in bollywood? can you not lay foundation to your face without making it look like you're hoarding dough for your birthday cake for next year? are our actors so underpaid? then again, i don't know that amrita does work and does get paid. i, at least, have not seen her on screen in the recent past. as for what she's got on, i'm not sure what it is. part gold-plated armor, part garden fence-trellis, complemented by a bedhead full of hair is not my idea of haute couture. but if it pays her bills, i'm the last one to object. maybe then she can have her cake (off her face) and eat it too.

hair alert: severe

a few days back, i had devised a completely original and ingenious system of advising the public of hair horror attacks of unimaginable proportions. (i was very disappointed to recently learn that some obscure government agency called the department of homeland security uses a similar system to alert the public of potential terrorist attacks.) as it turns out, that warning about zayed's horrific hirsute situation turned out to be not an isolated incident. in light of this new, startling, alarming and continuing evidence, i have no alternative but to raise the hair horror alert level to severe. ladies and gentlemen, i believe we have a problem of king-kongish proportions here. the public is advised to gaze at zayed at its own risk.

warning: photoshopped fake ahead

darlings, word is that there is a mallika sherawat look alike doing the rounds these days. sans make-up, and with clothes that cover her body. in multiple layers. and so artless is this fake that she goes around with a name tag plastered on her jacket. i mean, are we so gullible that we are to believe that mallika--she of towel fashion fame, of myth-ical proportions--would ever present herself in public and so shamelessly cover herself up? i am going to uncover this mystery, my friends. stay tuned.

international house of pancakes comes to india

ila arun, she of the gargantuan bindis, garish costumes and guttural groans passing off as song, was never seriously going to give kate moss or even our own deepika padukone a run for their fashion sense. but here, darlings, she seriously takes the cake. or should i say pancake? because, what else can explain that mud pie on her visage? and all that pewtery fake jewelry? darling, take a page out of bappi "the bling king" lahiri if you want to adorn yourself with "gorge your eye out" accessories. and avoid the re-melted stainless steel look. oh, and if i were you, i would wash that film of dirt off my face first, excuse my bluntness.

is chunky funky?

the rest of ms. mirza is, quite unlike our previously-featured, multi-chinned (minus one) walking bling factory, not at all chunky. what i'm curious about is whether those king-kong sized shades are hiding some grocery-bag sized droops under the eyes or was it just a case of sever fashionitis? in any case, someone ought to tell her that oversized scuba diving gear is not needed when breathing the air above ground. then again, if mumbai air doesn't suit her delicate constitution, she should at least attach an oxygen tank to her scuba goggles.

diet bappi?

is it the slightly long-distance shot? is it the overdose of talcum powder? is it the red vest? whatever it is, this seems to be bappi lite, as slimmed down a version of our favorite lahiri as you have ever seen. yes, there is now one chin less to be accounted for by the equation (# of overfed subsaharans x gold production in kinshasa = bappi lahiri + 3 tummies + 13 chins). but fear not, the quantity of bling on bappi's body has gone up to more than compensate for the apparent optical illusion of weight loss in our favorite bengali plagiarist, oops, i mean, music director. does he or does not make a striking picture, ladies?

hair horror advisory system

first it was hrithik, then jackie shroff, then bobby deol. and now, zayed. it certainly seems now as if there is a systematic ploy to destabilize the gazing public by thrusting all types of hirsute horrors upon them. i am taking it upon myself right now to devise and issue a hair horror advisory system that will provide the public adequate warnings of such impending hairy attacks.

LOW: low risk of gorilla-like hair growth
GUARDED: not yet an unshorn pomeranian, but close to m.f. hussain's follicle follies
ELEVATED: significant risk of hair growth to levels of anil kapoor's body hair
HIGH: high risk of ignoring the existence of barbers and hair stylists
SEVERE: king kong is here

zayed, alarmingly enough, seems to have come out of nowhere and emerged in the HIGH risk category. the public may be alerted to the fact that they can use any instrument at hand, including garden shears, to alter the hairscape of said subject so that no further horrors may be inflicted upon them.

the fallacy of bhagat singh

i'm pretty sure if the director of "the legend of bhagat singh" had seen bobby like this before casting him, he would've gone for his stiffer-but-more-macho brother for the role instead. was bobby trying to blend into the theme that those heart-shaped balloons in the backgroun played out to? maybe he just delivered some flowers and kept the wrapping paper to cut into a shirt? oh, and it looks like he could still use some help locating a fine coiffeur. here, take.

talcum powder. or else!

these UUFOs are actually bright little stars and starlets in tollywood and kollywood. and the reason they're bright is because they forgot to put on their talcum powder (now you know why they do it). but that's not why i feature them here. ignore the pink-sheathed one for now. i mean the one in the middle. what do you think the pink-shirted one was thinking? that he could steal his grandmother's dining table cover, have his tailor convert it into a chemise and all would be kosher? talking of grandmothers, did our UUFO-in-white-on-the-right steal her hair idea from that same grandmother? i mean, ringlets from scarlett o'hara's era? i know that fashion-wise, the south still is a couple of centuries behind bollywood, but still, ringlets????

trashion with UUFO

garbage bags seemed to be one of the themes of the day at the poonawala derby recently. have a dekko at this uufo, for example. i couldn't have tied a better knot on a Glad trash bag. I didn't know they come in that attractive blue color though. and, i must admit that her "hat" could also be a ziploc bag, or a mini-trash bag, the kinds you use in the office or bathroom.

a slip of the slip

is that urmila? didn't she used to have better fashion sense? phato-ed jeans are one thing. patches came and went too. but lace? on jeans? was she infected by shekhar "transparent lace shirt" suman's fashionitis? if she really wanted to get away with it though, she should've worn a face mask, although those gargantuan glasses almost do the job.

the bad-shah of blah blah fashion

ladies and gentlemen,
lace is in. especially transparent lace. especially when it's paired with a many-holes-in-one pair of ragged jeans. especially if you're the king of kitschy talk shows. then again, shekhar suman is a one-in-a-billion motormouth. so i doubt his variety of fashionitis is infectious. then again, if the options on the rack beside him are any indication of his choices, he probably couldn't have done any worse than with what he has on now.

jackie "out-of-mind" shroff's out-of-body experience

zaheer abbas looks exactly as i pictured he would: dapper, well-dressed and assured in his style. can't say too much about m'lady either. however, jackie shroff is a study in disaster, if there ever was one.
whose body did he think he was in? just because he has long, ugly hair like hrithik doesn't mean other bodily characteristics transfer to him by default. a paunch-hugging jacket does not a middle-aged belly flatter. and scuba shades would be better used to cover up the windbags under the eyes. and what is with that hair, man???? in case you missed it, here are links to more than a dozen barbers in and around mumbai. go see one, and send me the bill if you like. but please, spare us the torture any longer.

he has gold, but no clothes

first it was maria goretti here and here who couldn't afford clothes. now it appears that bappi lahiri only has money to cover his body with gold but not with a different set of clothes. look at him here in december 2005. and then look at him here (above) a couple of days back at the filmfare awards. i can think of two explanations for this: (1) when he retires at night, by the time he takes off all his bling, he's tired himself out too much to change his clothes. (2) his, umm, proportions don't allow his clothes to be taken off.
maybe someone needs to take a pair of scissors and help him out of those clothes. at least for the sake of the person of indeterminate gender next to him. then again, maybe that's just desserts for whoever that is. serves him/her right for turning up like that at an awards show.

and the award for the best bathroom fashion goes to...

it's a gauze caftan. no, wait, it's a gauze bathrobe with a rickshawalla belt as a special accessory. with the rickshawalla's t-shirt and lungi underneath. yeah, yeah, i know alisha is not a model or actress. all the more reason for her to get some expert advice so she doesn't end up looking like a rickshawalla who's just won the lottery and comes straight out of the bathroom to pick up an award.

UUFO: bling unlimited

o. mi. god.
it's a badge badge badge world, guys. take a cue, but not his badges. otherwise he'll unleash himself from the many chokers around his neck and lasso you into submission.
ladies, please send out a note to bappi lahiri and rekha that their position as the supreme dork of goldness has been usurped by a UUFO.
multiple golden leashes. gold pants. and matching golden pointy shoes.
'nuff said.

ode to shapelessness

hey diddle diddle,
how about a riddle?
i don't want to sound an alarm,
but what happened to bhansali's arm?
i've heard of many a rip-off,
but i think the man needs a tip-off
that he's been had by his tailor.
oh, and as if it was a trailer
to rani's couture, and pardon me if i'm in the dark, uh,
but isn't that a burkah
that seems to have slipped a few inches
further down into the trenches?
what will we think of next,
i wonder, under fashion's pretext.

will the real hrithik please stand up?

there was a time when hrithik exuded charisma effortlessly. now you have to wonder what he does everytime you see his pic. whereas here, kunal kapoor is coolness personified, transitioning his rang de basanti's aslam persona effectively into real life.
whereas you don't really know what hrithik is doing. whispering sweet nothings to kunal? digging for gold? trying to attract attention to his unkempt oily locks (how did those come back???!!) and thus, away from his pink sport jacket. or vice versa. i mean just look at the man.
is this what krrish has done to him?

amisha's idea of a blonde joke

the thing about amisha is that she seems to be timeless sometimes. as in, this would be horrible couture no matter what is au courant. it's what bappi lahiri would have come up with if he had turned his talent to fashion design. and then just to make a good thing even better, he would melt some of his bodily gold and use it to dye her hair. ye gods! looks like that's what he did here. somebody please verify for me that bappi is still sticking only to making noises and keeping gold merchants busy.

the softer side of munnabhai: the horror continues

what i had thought to be an isolated case of fashionitis (n., spontaneous combustion of any fashion-related brain cells) in sanjay dutt turned out not to be so. apparently sanju baba went to fashion street, churchgate, and subsequently, went berserk with his collar-baring batik-print blouse shopping. hopefully he knows that the clothes from fashion street are usually the use-once-and-throw varieties. if he washes and wears them again, we could be subjected to some navel-baring nightmares from munnabhai.

bebo watch

what's up with bebo these days? is it that she's scooped her cheeks hollow and has a hint of a horse neck upwards? or that she mistook dosa batter for foundation? or the fact that she took the top of her nightgown and turned it into a blouse/shirt? someone needs to talk to kareena before things careen out of control, don't you think?

uufo: are you in-duct-ed into the inner circle yet?

for the moment, just ignore the guy in the foreground and focus on the lady in black in the background. oops, i think i got my genders mixed up. my bad.

anyway, look at the uufo in black in the background. look at the eyes. i said the eyes, you lech. stop leering at the duct-zipper. you know you could never pull that look off. but you also know you want that duct tape so bad you'd just pull it right off your computer if you could. oh behave.

this just in: if you're not in duct tape, you're not in

turns out dear bobby deol is not the only one clued in to the fact that duct tape is the new silk. or whatever material was all the rage previously. notice the intricate frilly borders on suchitra's sweater. oooh, and don't miss the glossy ducty cuffs. they're so attractive, i almost missed how tired her jeans look. darlings, i'm going shopping for duct tape right now. and if i were you, i'd buy every color there is. unless you want to be seen in last season's bubble wrap.

bobby the birthday boy

just a few days before the little B's b'day bash, we spotted the stars all decked out at bobby deol's par-tay. apparently nobody told the birthday boy to dress up for his own bash. yes, you are usually allowed to do anything on your special day. but dyed newspapers and red duct tape don't really qualify as fashion. oh, and bobby, in case you need a good coiffeur, just look here.
p.s. if you want, you can pass those names on to a certain jackie shroff too.

apharan: the aftermath

ajay, ajay. it's okay if you don't want to attend a late night bash celebrating the junior B's 30th. but if you do drag yourself to the do, at least splash some h2o on those tired peepers and pretend not to be something the cat just dragged in. look alive, man! oh, and you know that men don't really need to accessorize all that much, don't you? especially not with the pillow you were just resting your wee head on. what happened? did apharan go to someone's head? were you kidnapped while napping? wakey, wakey!

*EMERGENCY*: arshad warsi too broke to buy maria a new outfit

first the dyed potato sack. then just a few days back, the multi-piece atrocity. and THEN, the same multi-piece atrocity, just a few days later. this picture above is from abhishek's 30th b'day bash. arshad warsi, it seems still has a few different shirts in his wardrobe, but not enough money in his bank to buy his poor wife a new outfit. what is the world coming to? if we don't set our own house right first, how can we eradicate poverty and hunger from the world? darlings, please contribute generously to the "buy maria a new outfit" fund. oh, and i think she won't mind patches and rags from your old dresses too. i'm sure she can stitch something together.
p.s. to give maria credit, she seems to have switched her ear ornaments. and ditched her pink poodle purse.

apex of fashion, circa. 1989

anybody remember the telugu hit gitanjali with nagarjuna as a gangster with leukemia? i didn't think you would. anyway, it set off a fashion trend that was all the rage then (hard to see that now of course) that juhi chawla seems to have finally caught up with. juhi, you've evolved to be a fine actress in the recent past (e.g. teen deewarein, my brother nikhil), but creative license doesn't mean you can extend a passing fad 16 years beyond its expiry date. after two kids, we know you're not looking to be glamorous, but don't you think you still have to exercise some restraint and show some responsibility towards your adoring public?

the myth: a different jackie is not a better jackie

ladies and gentlemen, jackie shroff is having a schizophrenic moment (apologies to psychologists for any non-p.c.-ness in that statement). he started out wanting to be informal. at least that's what i assume when he started putting on his jeans one leg at a time. but then he put on this jacket that can't quite decide if it's a sports jacket or not. it's too striped and too buttoned-up to decide. and then there's that red silk kerchief peeping out of the breast pocket. red? silk? in a buttoned-up striped jacket over jeans? what is that supposed to go with? his sleep-deprived eyes behind those hide-me shades? oh, and i think i'll just give up right here, right now on his ever finding a barber.

all the mistakes not to make in fashion: the abridged version

a couple of days back, we saw maria goretti, ex-vj, current w/o arshad warsi hanging really loose in a black sack'o spuds. that apparently was not an aberration on her part. here she gives us a quick lesson on every fashion faux pas you can make and how to make all of them at one go.
let's take it from the top.
#1: the smile's nice, not too fake, the hair could've been better, but why the bare neck?
#2: see that blue thing demarcating her torso from things below? what exactly is above it on her torso? it could be a pink spaghetti strap. or beginning of an orange cocktail dress. or a pinkish orange night gown. but let's not jump to conclusions yet.
#3: that blue thing encircling her. call me weird, but i think it's an upside-down papier-mache crown that has slipped a little along with her sense of what goes where on her body.
#4: remember that pinkish-orange apparition on her upper body? well, it continues below her blue crown, but this time it morphs into a yellowish-orange thing. that has a life of its own. so we don't know if it's the lower part of a dress, a patchwork of cloth that's saying "i want to be a skirt when i grow up, but she won't let me," or one of those maternity suits in the making.
#5: wait, that undefinable garment doesn't end there. in the front, it continues to the knee as a diaphanous thing that adds no value whatsoever to anything. in the back, it serves as a floor-sweeper, and aid-to-tripping when people behind you get too close for comfort.
#6: you know that maria used to have a pink poodle, right? well, the poor thing passed away recently, and maria was so attached to it, she couldn't bear the thought of parting with it, even when it went away to that great big poodle house in the sky. so she kept it with her. as her purse. which of course doesn't have any space for her 50-lb cell phone. that would be cruel to her poodle to be asked to carry a cell-phone on top of being dead.
maria, we might report you to the fashion police, but for your pet-concernedness, you can be sure i won't tell on you to the s.p.c.a. or p.e.t.a.

polka dots (plus) stripes = star (minus) class

are those even legitimate polka dots on his tie? or is that a self-design linked-lumps of coal design? the correct response to those questions of course is: whatever.
the real thing to look at is this: the only way this thing that anil kapoor has put together on his body can be worse than it already is now is if it were a hot pink. the suit is too tight around his armpits (gross to even have that body part come up when discussing your couture), too open around the less-than-perfect waist, and the pants look like he just stole them off of bozo the clown from gemini circus in borivili. although if they had truly been bozo's, they might have been that hot pink that anil couldn't find.
that age-old question pops into my head again: do stars not have fashion consultants for their everyday lives, when they're not acting? even more basic, do they not have an iota of fashion i.q. on their own?
don't bother answering that question.

the black sack

arshad, we loved you in tere mere sapne, in munnabhai, even in salaam namaste, and so we'd go to great lengths in pardoning fashion blunders of you and yours. and maria, we can love you just because you are married to arshad bhai. but we cannot forgive you for shoplifting a sack of potatoes, dyeing it black, and wearing it without even bothering to take the potatoes out of the sack. and then accessorizing it with hawaii chappals. how? what? why?

genus: spotted; species: choreographer

it's a leopard! it's an elephant! it's a modified leopard drape! it's a choreographer in leopard's disguise blowing her own trumpet! in any case, whether farah khan intended that atooriksha horn as an accessory or a distraction, it doesn't take away from the blur-inducing effect of her spotty sartorial taste. she has a sweet smile, she produced one of the funnest movies with SRK, is great with dancing. but does she have to imitate a skinned cheetah to make a fashion misstatement?

the softer side of munnabhai

where is a shawl when you need one? oh wait, it's the shawl that sanju baba has cut and paste into a...let me try again. it's a japanese garden silk screen painting that sanjay dutt has mauled into a...nope, that's not it. i know what it is. munnabhai went shopping for sanjay dutt and found a blouse that ended about an inch above his knees. that he had to tuck in. while sporting an off-shoulder collar that exposed his...ummm...pecs. and at the same time had sleeves that drooped over his arms as if there was something even uglier to hide underneath. that obviously could not be hid by hands clasped in front in modesty.
at least he has his cell phone in his pocket.

bappi lahiri, watch out

sometime back, when long lost twins bappi lahiri and adnan sami found each other again, i'd pointed out how the economy of a small african nation might be dependent on the amount of gold on bappi's ample body. it seems like madame rekha is out to outdo him. gold, as i pointed out to suzanne a couple of days back, goes with pretty much anything. but when you start wearing it like you're a walking fort knox, then it's easy to jump to the conclusion that you're better off locked up in a fortress rather than be let loose on an unsuspecting public. but much worse than the gold sari with the gold zari accessorized with gold bangles, a gold tikka, chunky gold necklace that would make an elephant's neck droop, and mammoth gold earrings that would prevent an elephant from flapping its ears is the coy, or if you prefer demure, look on rekha's face. for heaven's sake! this was not even her wedding, not that anybody is lining up to tie the knot with her right now.
then again, given her recent atrocious fashion track record, why should i suddenly raise the bar for her?

beautiful people

this, darlings, is one of those rare occasions when i take a little opaque bag and put it over my mean gene, temporarily suppressing it.
priyanka chopra has rarely had a fashion misstep that i have seen. here, she goes one step further, joining hands with a whole bunch of beautiful people and having herself a fun little time watching bluffmaster with them. alright, so maybe there was some element of shameless plug in it, considering she is the star of the movie. but in my book, anybody who will take out time for underprivileged children has inner beauty. and that, even in my black-hearted opinion, can make up for any fashion misstep. not that priyanka put any foot in the wrong place here anyway. you go, girl!

crowing glory

what on earth?
correction. this cannot be anything from earth. although there are two things that somehow resemble what ash has protruding from behind her head. the first is a gigantic, not to mention ugly, replication of hrithik's hexa-digital hand. the other is of course the more plausible explanation. somehow, ash seems to have mistaken crowing glory for crowning glory. i pity the ginormous rooster that is today bereft of its crown. for today there are two beautiful creatures bereft of their beauty: the rooster, bereft of its comb and hence its beauty, and ash, overloaded with that same comb, and hence bereft of her beauty. and if there is one more sentence in here that is not bereft of the word bereft, i will barf. not that ash's crowing glory is not already making me want to do just that.
p.s. thanks to Accidental Fame Junkie for pointing me to this atrocity.