Sunday, March 05, 2006

hair horror advisory system

first it was hrithik, then jackie shroff, then bobby deol. and now, zayed. it certainly seems now as if there is a systematic ploy to destabilize the gazing public by thrusting all types of hirsute horrors upon them. i am taking it upon myself right now to devise and issue a hair horror advisory system that will provide the public adequate warnings of such impending hairy attacks.

LOW: low risk of gorilla-like hair growth
GUARDED: not yet an unshorn pomeranian, but close to m.f. hussain's follicle follies
ELEVATED: significant risk of hair growth to levels of anil kapoor's body hair
HIGH: high risk of ignoring the existence of barbers and hair stylists
SEVERE: king kong is here

zayed, alarmingly enough, seems to have come out of nowhere and emerged in the HIGH risk category. the public may be alerted to the fact that they can use any instrument at hand, including garden shears, to alter the hairscape of said subject so that no further horrors may be inflicted upon them.

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