Thursday, October 20, 2005
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Manisha knows. You can see it in her eyes, on her face. In her "what was I thinking exposing that bit of flab?" midriff. In her what is that thing that is tied into a knot in front of her shirt. In her what-the-hell-am-i-doing-in-cargo-pants cargo pants. In her silent acceptance of her unabashed frumpishness.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
i knew there was a reason our sallu is mostly seen shirtless. because his tastes in shirts is appalling. but cunningly enough, he stands next to people who look worse than him, and thus distracts looks from his shirted chest. somebody should tell him though that nothing escapes the eagle eye of little old moi, darlings.
no matter how attached you are to somebody, do you have to match your hairstyles? or look equally frumpy? and kiran, i know you're not a fashion-conscious marquee starlet, but that sari looks like something you picked up at the local palika bazar. and the glasses from chandni chowk. and aamir bhai, much as i'm a fan of your acting, here's a fashion tip for you: lagan ki jagah lagan mein rehne do. don't take fashion tips from her though. varna lag jayegi mehengi lagaan.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Not to be outdone by Mallika "Towel" Sherawat, Shilpa "the-baseball-captain-and-karate-blackbelt" Shetty decided she could go one ru(n)g lower on the fashion ladder. And all this with just *ONE* bathroom rug (available at Wal-Mart for 88 cents -- I bought two recently). Look at all she's got out of it -- a bustier, bracelets and a choker. And I thought you could only wipe your feet on a rug.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Alright, I will admit that those wireless-phone Oakleys look good. But they'd look good on my face too if only I could afford them. But more to the point, how does a salt-and-pepper stubble, a what-the-hell-do-you-call-that-hair and an "el stupido" look on your face accessorize such a classy pair of shades? I think it would take more than a hair fairy to undo this hera pheri.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Granted Arjun Rampal has not had much to his name except earn a name as more attractive eye candy with his shirt off than Sallu. But, darling, when you do put some clothes on, don't make it look like faux snake skin in Barbie-colored fawn print. It won't even start a trend in pajamas.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
After making the sari sizzle like never before in Main Hoon Na, you had earned the people's mandate to take it where people had never seen it before. But did you forget that you were supposed to take the rest of you with it as well, especially your face? Did Jackie Chan's cosmetician do your make-up? Did you go back to your Hyderabadi roots and just splash on some talcum powder as you woke up and walked onto the ramp?
As a self-appointed maven, let me spell out some basic fashion flavas for your ex-Ms. World:
Straight hair goes with....straight hair.
A purple trenchcoat does not a complete wardrobe make, especially with shiny black boots.
And that look on your face is better left to Milla Jivovich in her Revlon ads.
But to give credit where it's due, the photographer's done a good job of lighting and mood. The subject is not his/her fault now, is it?
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Before I jump to conclusions, tell me that is not a parajumper's jumpsuit. It is? Okay, then at least tell me that's not a fishing net draped over the re-moulded piece of luggage pretending to be couture. It is? Then at least tell me that is not Rekha. It is?
Monday, October 03, 2005
Oh, now I see that my hairless chest is not as attractive as I thought it to be. What? You don't even like my Calvin-Kleins peeking--okay, jutting--out of my low-rise jeans? What do you mean I'm not a hip-hop star? How come it's okay for her to dress the way she did? What do you mean I'm a guy? What does that have to do with anything?
Find yourself in a hotel in Canada without a wardrobe? No problem. Here's what you do.
Tuck the hand towel into the front of your (top / blouse / shirt / huh?) and let it hang out in front. Take the bath towel and wrap it around sarong-style. Oh, and that pool towel you were using yesterday, tuck it into your behind and let it sweep the carpet like a bride's trousseau. At least that's what Ms. Sherawat did for the Toronto premiere of The Myth.
Who wants to tell Hrithik that just because his dad doesn't have any isn't a good enough reason to not cut his own hair?
Oh, and while you're telling him that, could you also tell him that he's supposed to wait till the tailor finishes with his job before wearing clothes? What is that thing he's wearing under his jacket? Methinks it's a cross between a half-tailored vest, with the measuring tape as embroidery, and one of Suzanne's shawls wrapped around under the jacket. Good sense, please don't desert our beloved Hrithik now. Please.