Tuesday, March 21, 2006

hair alert: severe

a few days back, i had devised a completely original and ingenious system of advising the public of hair horror attacks of unimaginable proportions. (i was very disappointed to recently learn that some obscure government agency called the department of homeland security uses a similar system to alert the public of potential terrorist attacks.) as it turns out, that warning about zayed's horrific hirsute situation turned out to be not an isolated incident. in light of this new, startling, alarming and continuing evidence, i have no alternative but to raise the hair horror alert level to severe. ladies and gentlemen, i believe we have a problem of king-kongish proportions here. the public is advised to gaze at zayed at its own risk.

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